READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
