You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
