Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Found the puke drawer
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
