And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
