There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
