Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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