they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship