and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
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bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
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He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.