just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize