just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Ketchup is God's man juice
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
you told grandpa to call you daddy
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes