CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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