I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
