its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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