Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
