Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize