I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
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She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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