yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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