guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
