I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
