I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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