haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
