I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize