I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
