worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
