I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
