I met the friendliest cop last night
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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