I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
