If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
