We need to rekindle our bromance
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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