brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
