I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
