ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
