So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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