I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
