Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
