Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
