the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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