All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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