i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
