dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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