God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you will always have a special place in my vag
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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