im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
