I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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