i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
