His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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