he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
