Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize