I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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