I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
sarcasm needs its own font
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
