4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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