My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
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Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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