I want to stick my p in your. b.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
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I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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