Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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