i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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