is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
