At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
