I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She told me I should be a condom model.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
