Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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