smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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