Define "chronic" masturbator.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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