She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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