i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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